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I’m scared, so scared

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Am I loosing you, I ask
You only loose me if I die, you answer
But darling, why am I so afraid
That you are dying?

You smile at me, but I see your sadness
I saw it from the day we met
That’s why I started to love you
Before you saw that I was me

Your jokes about death scares me
I see the danger, I know you by now
And I’m so far away, so far away
And yet so close

So close that my hands tremble
So close that I’m nauseus every day
Of fear that you might not be alive
And I might not know it until your gone

I can’t talk to anyone
This is my secret
Behind my smile
Behind my trembling hands

I have the window to my bedroom open
But still it’s difficult to breath
You’re thousands of miles away
And I’m gasping for air

You say I’m so strong, stronger than you
But I’m not strong darling, I’m falling apart
It’s just that you struggle so much
That you don’t see it

Pleas give me a sign
That you are ok, that you are alive
You don’t have to love me
But don’t fade away


5 Comments

  1. Those words gave me goosebumps… Really touching …

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Poetpas says:

    Starting a relationship based on fear is not healthy I think.

    Liked by 1 person

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