I’m going to share my thoughts about loving louder, clearer and braver in a long distance relationsship. What do I mean? How can you love louder, clearer and braver?
In a relationship when you are seeing your partner on a daily basis or every week, you get a lot of opportunities to keep your emotional and physical contact intact. You can put your hand on the other ones shoulder och give a quick kiss on his or her neck when making dinner. If you have a quarrel or a bad day, you can sit togehter in silence, in the same room, knowing that in the evening, you’re back on track.
In a long distance relationship you may have your partner living 2700 km away from you, like I have, or even more. And you don’t have those daily opportunities to show your affection and also to be asured from you partner that everything is just fine.
You have to rely on internet connection and you share your emotions through the screen by talking on webcam or phone. You can’t feel the smell of your partner and you can’t feel their skin. When you are toghether on-line it feels like your together in the same town and when you shut down the computer, you’re left in an empty space of longing and an almost surreal feeling of that the most important thing is missing. Your loved one.
If you have an argument and the wi-fi breaks down at the same time? Yes, that happens, Then you go to bed afraid that your beloved one are thinking that you turned so upset so you closed the computer, when in the reality the wi-fi at the cafe stopped working or your computer ran out of battery. In a long distance relationship there are one thousands risks of misunderstanding each other, because you only get fragments of time in front of the screen or in the phone.
- Don’t be afraid to tell your partner that you love them 4 times a day. Or more.
- Compliment your man/your woman.
- Apologize when you say or do something thats unpolite.
- In a long distance relationsship there is no room for ego. Leave teh ego behind for good.
- Treasure your time together like the precious gift it is.
- Don’t be shy to post a nice song on you loved ones facebook page (if your partner agrees, ask first) and don’t worry what relatives or workingmates think.
It’s your your precious relationship worth fighting for.
- Yes it’s ok to act like 15 even if your 47.
- Don’t worry if the situation seems “impossible”. It might be that you found your soulmate in Australia and you live in Norway. Well, congratulations to have found him/her! Many people never find true love in their lives.
- Enjoy every day and let time work in your favor.
- Be transparent and tell your partner about even little things, for example, if there is coming a lot of messages on your phone when your talking, tell your partner who’s sending them. It can be your mother asking 6 times if you are coming for dinner, but if your love doesn’t know, it can be a seed to jealousy, even for the most confident of lovers.
- Tell your partner what you wish, what you need from them and be specific. Don’t expect him/her to read your mind or “understand” what you want. Tell them,
- Download skype on your mobile and take a walk toghether in your town.
- Plan a visit. Even if you don’t know when or how. Talk about it. Decide for example what café to visit together when one of you visit the other one.
When I met my love on line, I never had been in a long distance relationship before.
And my friends asked me why I choosed a man in another country, when there are so many men living closer, and when I have my children and job here in Sweden?
And I tell them, it was never a choice.
I found my love and he happens to live in Spain. And here we are. Loving each other. Determined to stay together.
It’s not easy to be in a long distance relationship. A long distance relationship is for the brave ones. There are days I sleep bad because of pure longing, there are days I worry about the future and there are days I’m jealous even if I don’t want to and there is no reason for it. A long distance relationship encourage the strenght in you, and you can’t escape from your weak sides or old scars.
It is also an incredible joy, a gift, a relief and gratefulness every time I get in contact with my boyfriend on line/phone. Seeing his face and looking in his eyes is worth everything. And it makes everything worthwhile.
Falling in love is not a decision. Love is something that comes to you without asking for permision. But how you act when real love comes to you, it’s your decision.
To all of you out there who is in a long distance relationship; take care of your partner, yourself and your relationship and love louder, clearer and braver.
I wish you the best of luck on your journey! I’m sure you will make it!